Valentine’s Day – some love it, some dread it. For couples, it’s either an all-out celebration or a low-key affair (with unspoken expectations). But for singles? It can feel like a giant spotlight on what’s missing.
The Bible has a lot to say about love, but let’s be real…sometimes, it feels like singles get left out of the conversation. Questions creep in: What’s God’s plan for me? Am I supposed to wait? Does being single mean being lonely?
We spoke to three single Malaysian guys about their journey, the lessons they’ve learned, and the unexpected ways God has shown up in their lives. Here’s what they had to say.
Wisdom in waiting
At just 19, Kharun Zuriel Dhaliwal is already feeling the pressure to be in a relationship.
“You know, I see a lot of my friends getting into relationships, and I can’t lie, I feel a little jealous!”
Currently pursuing his A Levels, Kharun has found that relationships have become a significant part of his faith journey.
“When I was younger, I didn’t really think much about being in a relationship. But over the past year or so, I’ve started asking myself a lot more questions.”
Questions like “Am I ready for this?” or “Who should I even be with?” don’t have clear answers yet. But one thing he does know is where to anchor himself.
“For me, there’s a lot of instructions in the Bible for what a good husband should be (1 Peter 3). Whether that’s in God’s plan for me or not, I think the best thing I can do in the meantime is just try to have those qualities!”
It’s a journey, and Kharun is in no rush. A hard truth keeps him grounded.
“Honestly, I think a lot of young people who get into relationships, those relationships don’t always last.”
He believes maturity plays a big role in why.
“I think when people get older and become more mature, they can see a little clearer. They know better what they want and need in a relationship. So I’m pretty okay with waiting until that point!”
Being single doesn’t mean you’re unloved
“I feel as if God is making me reflect on my own heart to see if I would find my satisfaction in Him even if He does not provide me with a spouse,” says Rohan Sanghani who is content and single at 28.
He has been in relationships before but has also considered the possibility of long-term singleness. It’s not always easy to process, but he trusts that God is in control.
“Nevertheless, not my will but Yours,” Rohan says about his desire for a relationship.
“I also think He might have other plans for me. When you are married, your main ministry is to your family, so you may not have the time to minister as much to others. Perhaps God’s plan for me is to minister to others rather than to a family.”
Through his journey, Rohan has learned valuable lessons he hopes to share.
“First, I want to remind people that singleness is a real struggle. Sometimes, singleness actually helps us devote more of ourselves to God and focus on serving Him without the distractions of marriage responsibilities.”
But being single doesn’t mean being unloved.
“If we look at the Bible, even Jesus Himself was single, and so was Paul. Many people in the Bible were deeply loved by God and glorified Him in their singleness. So even though we may be single, it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love and care for us.”
Lifting up the lonely
Ng Kah Kit sees singleness not just as a gift but as an inevitability.
“Just as there is a time for everything, there will also be a time of singleness,” he says, recalling 1 Timothy 6:6. “Godliness with contentment is great gain. I think it’s very much applicable to anyone who is single and can find much comfort in it.”
At 26, Kah Kit is a PhD student who believes God has used his singleness to bless those around him, especially younger students on campus.
“Being single allows you a little more freedom to follow up with people and do one-on-one ministry. For me, despite being single, I’ve learned that God has indeed called me to various ministries.”
One of those was walking alongside a struggling young Christian.
“It took up a lot of my time due to the rebellious nature of sin and being a teenager,” he shares.
“I encourage you to look around you at where you ought to be serving and give Him your all.”
Kah Kit also has practical advice for supporting single brothers and sisters.
“Oftentimes, a Christian will feel the impulse to be in a relationship out of loneliness.”
This, he believes, can lead to rushed decisions and mistakes in choosing a godly partner.
“This is exactly where the Christian community ought to come in and encourage and journey with the person. Even though you may be single, you are still part of a community.”
Finding purpose in every season
For Kharun, Rohan, and Kah Kit, singleness isn’t just about waiting, it’s about growing, serving, and trusting God’s plan. Their journeys show that whether single or in a relationship, the goal remains the same: to glorify God in every season.
So whether you’re happily single, struggling with singleness, or just wondering what the future holds, take heart – God is not withholding good from you.
He is shaping, preparing and calling you to something greater than just a relationship. And in the meantime? There’s purpose, joy, and deep fulfilment to be found right where you are.
