“The most important way to see your life change is relationally,” says Soo-Inn Tan to an enraptured audience.
The crowd had gathered for the launch of Growing People Relationally, the latest book by Soo-Inn at PJEFC Heritage Centre.
Author and preacher Soo-Inn Tan’s call to ministry was far from expected; he had set his heart on dentistry ever since coming to faith in 1969. When he once asked his mentor, Dr Roger Capps, why more people didn’t become preachers, the answer shook him:
“God is calling, but His people aren’t listening. People like you, for example.”
So Soo-Inn started listening. Since 1985, he has journeyed with people through full-time ministry – teaching, preaching, and building personal relationships. Alongside his work as a dentist and pastoring two churches, he also serves as director of Graceworks, a training and publishing consultancy committed to promoting spiritual friendship in the Church and society.
He describes his feelings toward the new release as “low-key excitement.”
“Excited because the book deals with a subject that defines my ministry – spiritual mentoring. Low-key because I still struggle with inflicting another book on the world, and there are already so many books on mentoring.”
As the evening unfolded, it was clear this was far more than just another book. Soo-Inn offered a thoughtful overview of his writing, while pastors and friends shared warm recommendations.
He lingered afterwards to answer questions from those eager to learn. Underneath it all was the shared desire to grow others in Christ.
“12 people on a 3-year road trip”: The how and why of growth
“The irony is that I actually enjoy preaching more than mentoring and discipling. I’m happiest when I stand here and talk about that!” Soo-Inn laughs, before adding, “But what I enjoy most isn’t always what’s most effective.”
After 40 years in ministry, he’s convinced of one thing:
“The key way to see people change is by walking with them personally. There’s no shortcut for that.”
Growing People Relationally captures those four decades of lessons – convictions, insights, and experiences drawn from discipling others and being discipled himself.
“It’s nothing new, right?” he says with a smile. “Jesus’ way of shaping life is taking 12 people on a three-year road trip!”
While the concept isn’t new, Soo-Inn believes its urgency hasn’t faded.
“I wanted to lay down the basic biblical and practical principles of life-changing relationships. I’m hoping people will take the book, improve on it, and adapt it to their own context.”
In the book’s third chapter, he explains why relationships are the mark of Christlikeness.
“When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He cited the two main relationships of God’s people: love for God and love for neighbours.”
For Soo-Inn, maturity is revealed in the quality of our relationships, with God and with others.
“It is in walking with God that we find the motivation and power to love others. When we commit to serving others, we find ourselves drawing closer to God and to His people.”
An anchoring experience: Why read this book?
By this point, the audience needed no further convincing. Yet hearing from Rev. Alexa Ho of PJEFC and Ps. Robin Liew of SSMC revealed why other Christian leaders consider the book essential reading.
“This book gives us the why,” says Rev. Alexa Ho, describing it as an “anchoring experience.”
“I know all the spiritual language to tell people how spiritual I am. But at the end of the day, our maturing comes from people walking with other people.”
She hopes churches will rediscover the joy of spiritual friendship and mentoring:
“I pray that it will help many churches, including ours, to rediscover the joy of working with one another as spiritual friends and mentors. So I commend this book not just as something to read, but as something to practice.”
Next was Ps Robin Liew of SSMC. He spoke not only about the strength of the book, but of its author as well.
“He [Soo-Inn Tan] embodies, he lives, and he demonstrates what he writes. The messenger is the message.”
Ps Robin also spoke about the message contained within the book.
“The book is easy to read. And it’s just 76 pages! It defines what spiritual mentoring is, explains the objective and outcome, and shows different variations of what it could look like,” he said.
His advice to readers was simple yet profound:
“Don’t just read it as another book. But I think, look at it again and ask the Lord, how can we apply that to wherever He’s placed us?”
The messenger is the message
As the formalities wound down, two groups formed – one at the book table, where copies were quickly snapped up, and another around Soo-Inn himself.
He was signing books, yes, but more than that, he was engaging, listening, and answering questions with the same warmth and insight that filled his pages.
Pr. Robin’s words rang true: the messenger truly was the message.
Through both his words and his life, Soo-Inn reminded everyone present that growth toward Christlikeness always begins on the most human level – in relationship.
If you’d like to learn more about Soo-Inn or purchase Growing People Relationally, visit Graceworks
